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Like Water Through a Teabag

Sunday, June 27, 2010

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The World Cup Final came early for England and Germany; where the winner was guaranteed a meeting with Argentina or Mexico.

All in red, an unchanged England side looked for a repeat performance of their last group game, against Slovenia.

After an offside call on Wayne Rooney, Mesut Özil broke into the right side of the England penalty area and forced David James to close his legs, sharply.

Germany seemed to have more space for a while then Jermain Defoe and Frank Lampard worked together on the edge of the German area, for a free-kick.

From Frank Lampard's shot into the wall to a long goal-kick upfield by German goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer in the 20th minute and England went a goal behind; Miroslav Klose sprinting through Matthew Upson and John Terry to do the damage.

In the thirtieth minute, England defenders were at it once more; leaving too much space for Germany to move through and forcing David James to save again with his feet.

If the England defenders heard James, they didn't take much notice as they were split again two minutes later, when Thomas Müller had plenty of space to whip the ball across for Lukas Podolski to have time for a second touch, then drill the ball under David James, in off the post.

With ten minutes still to the break, England's ship seemed to be sinking fast and but for James at the helm it could have been four or five to Germany.

A short corner to Steven Gerrard in the 37th minute, allowed the England captain to loft the ball for West Ham's Matthew Upson to head England back into the game.

A minute later and England should have been level; Frank Lampard's shot hit the underside of the bar, landed over the line and bounced back onto the bar, only to be gathered by Manuel Neuer as it came back down.

Uruguayan referee, Jorge Larrionda either didn't see it or didn't want to see it. He certainly didn't give it. FIFA president Sepp Blatter was shown in the stands at the start of the match, but what a shame that the camera didn't pan to him when the ball crossed the line.

When the referee picked the ball up for the break, he was duly booed by the large England contingent.

Half-time: 2:1

Frank Lampard hit the bar again, from a free-kick eight minutes into the second-half, but this time Jabulani flew high into the sky.

England's central defensive jitteries continued and David James must have been starting to sound like a worn-out record.

England tried to expose the German defence; with Jermain Defoe looking for a chance, but Germany dealt with the movement far better.

England's threat at free-kick's was applaing, as all Frank Lampard could do once again was fire into the wall.

Germany poured forward again and again like water through a teabag. All too easily, Thomas Müller scored two goals within three minutes to avenge the Munich defeat of 2001 and give the English journalists plenty of ammunition to call their own shots.

Germany were by far the better team but England made it much too easy for them and should be made to walk home for their dismal display in South Africa.

Bloemfontein 2010 can go down in recent England's exit history with Gelsenkirchen 2006, Shizuoka 2002 and St Etienne 1998.

Germany 4 England 1

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England 0 Algeria 0

Friday, June 18, 2010

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Birthday Boy, Fabio Capello had Gareth Barry fit and brought in David James as number one.

Ravshan Irmatov, of Uzbekistan, refereed the South Africa vs Mexico opening game and became the first referee to take charge of his second match at the 2010 World Cup Finals.

Algeria also started the game with a change of goalkeeper; Rais M'Bolhi even had a trial for Manchester United before the tournament. Perhaps it was memories of that trial that fogged his vision, as he made an early mistake by passing to Wayne Rooney.

With eighteen minutes gone, Algeria seemed to settle in rather well; giving England plenty to think about.

Five minutes later, David James did well to keep hold of Nadir Belhadj's high corner; as Algeria continued to put England on the back foot.

With half an hour gone, England were looking perilously close to winning the 'Worse Team of The Tournament' tag off France; about the only thing either team would win on their current showing.

A chorus of God Save The Queen inspired Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney for a split second; the sort of mini moments that result in goals.

Then a minute later, M'Bolhi stopped England's best chance of the first-half; from the rapidly advancing Frank Lampard. Those sort of goals have gone in so many times at Stamford Bridge.

Fabio Capello walked towards the tunnel with his head down and hands in his pockets. Not the sort of birthday surprise he would have wished for. Now what?

Half-time: 0:0

Is the Italian manager suffocating the players? Maybe they should listen to Beckenbauer - kick and rush is better than this.

Emile Heskey showed that he's been watching some of the talent in other World Cup games as he tried to appear skilful with his feet on the right. Unfortunately, a donkey can't become a thoroughbred overnight.

Things went from bad to worse, just before the hour, as Jamie Carragher was booked for a block on the edge of the area and would miss the crucial game against Slovenia. No tears though.

An awful back-pass from John Terry put David James under immense pressure. Terry then made amends by heading the goalkeeper's punt further upfield.

The arrival of Jermain Defoe, in place of Emile Heskey, added a little more spark to the England attack.

The Americans could quite rightly feel proud of their draw with Slovenia, after going two goals down in their first-half, but England would have to be thoroughly ashamed by this performance.

In a final throw of the dice, Capello sent on big Peter Crouch for Gareth Barry, with just six minutes left to break the deadlock.

That didn't work, so knockout football comes early for England, as they have to beat Slovenia in the final group game. On this showing, that doesn't look very likely.

If England can't score one goal against Slovenia (and keep a clean sheet), they'll need to draw at least two-two and hope the United States vs Algeria game is goalless. As for drawing of lots, perish the thought.

England 0 Algeria 0

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No Home Run

Saturday, June 12, 2010

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England failed to make up for their 1950 defeat to the United States in Belo Horizonte; after yet another goalkeeping error just before half-time.

New England captain, Steven Gerrard, led the way forward by nipping inside Ricardo Clark - after a touch from Emile Heskey - and flicking the ball back across Tim Howard, to put Fabio Capello's team ahead within the opening minutes.

England were maybe a little lucky to escape unscathed from three successive US corners around the 13th minute; and Capello knew it.
After Jozy Altidore fluffed a header in the 19th minute, Aaron Lennon drove into the American area at the other end; Frank Lampard trying an overhead kick to return the American clearance.

While Tim Howard was receiving treatment after a heavy slide through by Emile Heskey, Fabio Capello decided to take off James Milner; who had received a yellow card shortly before.

England have a history of losing a player to a red card in important games, so perhaps the Italian was just being cautious.

A bigger case for concern in the England camp has been the goalkeeping position, though.

Clint Dempsey made life a little more miserable for West Ham's Robert Green, five minutes before half-time, when a low drive from the American spilled out of Green's hands and into the net.

Half-time: 1:1

There was more concern for Fabio Capello at half-time, when a second substitution had to be used to replace Ledley King with Jamie Carragher.

Robert Green managed to redeem himself when he turned a Jozy Altidore shot onto the post; fortunately there were no Americans following up.

Tim Howard managed to keep out sustained English pressure in the second half and help steer the Americans on a course for the second round.

England 1 USA 1

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Most Disappointing Day

Friday, November 23, 2007

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So Steve McClaren has just had the most 'disappointing day' of his career, bless him!

It must be a real disappointment to find an extra two million pounds in your bank account for NOT delivering the goods.

But at least he kept a straight face when he said it.

No glint in his eye, no emotion; just like when he stood under his umbrella at the side of the pitch, instead of throwing his jacket in the dug-out out and trying to fire up his rich boys to get the result he needed.

Or was this the result he secretly aspired to; a golden goodbye.

McClaren says he's now a better manager than he was 18 months ago; he's certainly richer, so was probably thinking about money management rather than player management.

There were some other classic quotes at the press conference:

I said at the beginning that it's my responsibility. I live and die by results (but I'm not dead yet).

I am a fan like everyone else (but I wouldn't be a man about it and resign. Besides, I'm now a fan of Croatia and will be supporting them this summer).

I'm not making any excuses (but I won't say I'm totally useless).

Fantastic support from all the players (just a shame they didn't show their support by getting it right on the pitch).

Most Disappointing Day

It was also the most disappointing day for those who hoped to profit from England's qualification; the landlords and sportswear manufacturers.

How they can say that they've lost money, or are going to lose money, is ridiculous.

They're just not going to make as much as they thought they would.

The Swiss Tourism people might even find out that they make more money from less Russians (as the very rich ones will travel and spend on luxury accommodation and goods) than fifteen to twenty thousand, beer-swilling campers from England.

The Swiss police will not be disappointed.

What's really disappointing is that England might not even be good enough to win a Home Championships.

And the biggest disappointment of all; some FA Chiefs still keep their fat-cat salaries, for doing sweet FA.

Time to McSack them too; without a penny. And while you're at, give the 'real' fans their money back!

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